You got a boyfriend, then?
by ShadowMellow
Summary: After they finally made contact with the killer, Jake and Dirk wait inside a small Italian restaurant for them to show up. Hilarity ensues. BBC Sherlock AU. Holmestuck. Pre-Slash?


Oh, god, I was just browsing Tumblr when I found this!

**Http:/ derperistical. Tumblr. Com/ post/ 15218776382/ english-hand-me-my-phone-but-its-in-your **

Gosh, why do people have to inspire me so much?

Jake is 22 and Dirk 19 in this, by the way.

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I just couldn't believe we were actually trying to catch that fella. After running down some streets, Dirk and I soon reached a small Italian restaurant, filled with couples, and took our seats at the windows. We just sat there for good while, Strider just staring at something behind me while I, in return, looked at him. When I could bear it no more, I leaned forward to him, my glasses slightly sliding down on my nose.

"What exactly are we doing here, old chum? I thought we wanted to go after the killer?" He didn't even move his eyes to answer me.

"22 Northumberland Street. We previously wrote the killer a text to meet us there. Just keep your eyes on it." I eyed him question.

"Aren't you keeping your eyes on it?"

"I am." He pointed behind me at a small mirror that was turned to see the street outside of the window. I nodded in understanding but I was still confused.

"I do not suppose that he would just ring the door bell."

"Of course not, Jake. He will pass by, as if it weren't on purpose." I looked out of the window once again and my green eyes turned slightly wider.

"But half of London is passing by!"

"I'll recognise him." I raised an eyebrow at him.

"So you know who they are?"

"I know what they are." I was about to ask him more when a young woman, apparently the chef, walked up to us, a big smile on her face.

"Dirky-boy!" She had wild, dark hair and wide baggy clothes on. She mustered me for a moment before a cat-like grin entered her face. "Whatever you want on the menu, on the house, for free! For both you and your date!" I briefly wondered how well she knew Dirk to talk to him like that before something completely different entered my mind. My eyes widened as I stared at her.

"I'm not his date." I desperately looked over to my companion for some mild support but to my disappointment, he only kept staring at his mirror. The girl walked over to him, grabbed him by the shoulder and shook him, completely ignoring my protest.

"Oh, this boy. He got me off a murder charge." Strider seemed slightly annoyed at the gesture but let him carry on anyway. He turned back to me and I could have sworn I saw his eyes roll slightly.

"This is Nepeta. Two years ago, I was able to prove to the police that during a particularly vicious serial murder, she was not as accused at the crime scene, but in a completely different part of town. Stealing kittens from families." Before I could speak my shock at both Dirk's kindness to help and what kind of plan it to steel cats, Nepeta grinned at me and shook him a bit more.

"He cleared my name."

"Only a bit." I was not sure if it was out of modesty or honesty that he spoke those words. Nepeta seemed a little saddened at them, though, as she straightened again and looked at the both of us.

"Anything on the menu, I will cook it for you myself."

"Thank you." It was not really obvious, but I could clearly see relief wash over Dirk's face as he thought she was about to finally leave us alone for our case. But he had no such luck.

"If it weren't for you, I would have gone to prison."

"You did go to prison." We both looked at her for a few moments as her mouth just opened and closed.

"I will bring you a candle," she quickly changed the topic. "It's more romantic."

"I'm not his date!" I shouted after her but she ignored me once again. I just sighed, combed my hand through my hair and looked at the menu that Strider slid over to to me.

"Go ahead and order something, we might have to wait for a while," he said. I looked up at him in wonder.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"What day is it?" I eyed him suspiciously for a moment before answering.

"...Wednesday."

"I'm fine for a bit," he responded with a small wave of his hand, turning back to his mirror. My eyes widened again, only this time in shock and horror.

"You haven't eaten in days? But you have to eat, chum!"

"No, you need to eat, I need to think. It's the brain that counts, everything else is just transport." I was not even entirely sure what he wanted to say with that but I just sighed and looked back at my menu. I mildly noted that Nepeta came back, as promised, with a candle for us but I was much too distraught to argue with her. I eyed Dirk for a few moments again before looking at the menu again.

"So, you have a girlfriend to feed you sometimes?" I tried to start a conversation. He shook his head. "So, is that a no?"

"It's not really my area." I nodded and looked down again, trying to decide between a salad or pasta. I snapped my head up again when another idea came to mind.

"Oh. So... do you have a boyfriend, then?" His actually slightly curious look at the mirror shifted to surprise as he turned to me. Or maybe it did not, since it was actually pretty hard to read anything off that poker face of his. "Which is fine by the way," I quickly added, in case he would misunderstand.

"Of course it's fine." His voice sounded as deadpan as ever.

"So you don't have a boyfriend then?" I asked just to make sure. He shook his head again. "Okay, fine. So unattached, like me," I blurted out in a desperate attempt to ease the awkward tension around us. We just sat there in silence for some time, each of us minding our own business. I could see Strider shift in the corner of my eyes before he cleared his throat. I looked up at him in wonder. Was that a blush I saw?

"Jake, while I'm rather flattered by your interest," My eyes widened in understanding at how my words must have sounded to others. "I consider work my top priority, so at the current moment, I would prefer to-"

"Oh, no!" I quickly shook my head, a bright blush on my cheeks. Oh, blimey, I cannot believe this was happening! "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! That was not what I was suggesting at all! You needn't worry about stuff like that, ol' fella! I'm not interested! Not like that, I mean!" Again, I just blurted something out without thinking. Dirk blinked at me for a few seconds, the first honest reaction I saw in the short time we have known each other.

"You're not?" I violently shook my head again, blush even more vivid on my tanned skin now. He nodded at me and awkwardly looked off to the side, still slightly blushing. "Very well, then." The blonde turned back to his mirror while I still just stared at him, drinking up all of the emotions he dared to show me through the cracks of his mask. I quickly caught myself and buried my head in the menu again, just wishing that Nepeta would come again to ease the atmosphere.

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I might come back to this once my other stories are finished. Yeah. Maybe.


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